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I Learn To Be Strong
Friday, January 07, 2011



Words of wisdom
come to my ears,
Telling me what I know in my heart,
But never wanted to hear.

With the truth finally said
and out in the open for me to plainly see,
I wonder why I can love so deeply
but never had that love returned back to me.

I confessed the feelings
that I held inside for so long,
But with his soft- hearted rejection,
I realize I have to be strong.

With tears that want to flow
from my eyes,
I feel that my heart,
along with my composure, slowly dies.

While this dramatic side is showing through
with my ability to question and reason,
I think I may have found
something in me that I can believe in.

Love hurts . . .
That's what they all say,
But I will love again
when all this pain and sorrow goes away.

So I sit and think of all the things
this situation has cost,
And I realize that nothing
very important has been lost.

Instead, a learning experience
has come from all this.
I've learned that hardly anything
is more important than my happiness.


PAIN
Thursday, January 06, 2011

I DONT KNOW WHO TO TURN TO.
SO I DECIDED TO LET GO ON MY BLOG.
LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW WHATS GG ON.
I DONT CARE. I JUST DONT WANNA GET ILL AGAIN.
I DONT WANNA SEE ANY PSYCHIATRIST. IM NOT SICK.

THIS DAYS ARENT MY DAY. WHY. WHY MUST IT HAPPENED
TO ME. IM SAD PPL TREATING ME THIS WAY. WHAT HAVE I
DONE TO DESERVE THIS. *SIGH
I DONT HAVE ANY TEARS. IM NOT STRONG ENUF TO FACE ALL
THIS. SERIOUSLY. :'(

YESTERDAY, JASON MSG ME AND ACCUSE ME FOR LYING TO HYM.
WHY? JUST BCOS I DEACTIVATE MY ACC LIKE ONLY 7HOURS AND
WHEN I ACTIVATE MOST OF MY FRIEND'S LIST ARENT MY FRIEND.
IS IT MY FAULT? LIKE SERIOUSLY? I DONT KNOW IF JASON BEING
SO UNREASONABLE TOWARDS ME BUT EU KNOW WHAT JASON?
" EU HURT ME DEEPLY. MY HEART BROKEN INTO PIECES. I CANT
STOP CRYING. WHY? HY JASON EU TREAT ME THIS WAY?"
YES, I DONT MIND SAYING OUT YOUR NAME AND TELL WHOEVER READ
THIS. I DONT CARE. COS IM SUPER DISAPPOINTED OF EU. IM HURT OVER
YOUR WORDS. *SIGH
I DONT KNOW IF IM ABLE TO FORGIVE EU. ( 05012011)

TODAY, MUCH MORE DISAPPOINTED. HIDAYAT WAS SERIOUSLY SICK FOR
THREE DAYS. I TOLD YDAY (05012011) IM GG TO VISIT HYM COS I WORRIED
ABOUT HYM. HE ASK PERMISSION FOR HYS PARENTS AND RECEIVED A GREEN
LIGHT FROM THEM. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. SHOWER, COOK PORRIDGE FOR
HYM AND SOME LIGHT DISHES. COS HES NOT IN A MOOD TO EAT. AFTER COOK,
I SEND MY GRANNY TO THE TOILET AND GIVE HER LUNCH. THEN I MSG YAT,
ASK IF HES OKAY AND STILL NEED ME TO BE THERE. GUESS WHAT WAS HYS REPLY.
"ITS OKAY. EU DONT HAVE TOO. IM FEELING BETTER." *SIGH
ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT. SO,OUT OF ANGER I THREW AWAY THE FOOD THAT I
COOK FOR HYM. YES,I THREW IT AWAY. SO MUCH FOR MY CONCERN AND EFFORT.

LATER, I MSG ISMAN OUT OF CONCERN COS HE WASNT IN A MOOD AS HE HAD A FIGHT
WITH HYS BROTHER. I MSG HYM AND ASKED " IS HE OKAY. SORRY I DIDNT REPLY HYS
MSG COS I WENT TO BED EARLY." GUESS WHAT HE REPLY. " I HATE PPL WHO LIED TO ME"
I ASKED HYM "WHY?" HE KEPT REPEATING "I HATE PPL WHO LIED TO ME" *SIGH
WHO LIKE TO BE LIED TOO. WHAT HAVE I DONE ACTUALLY. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN
TO ME. *SIGH (06012011)
YES! IM TRULY HURT AND SAD OVER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY AND TODAY.
LITERALLY SAD. :'(


VANISH



why is he always in my head
i want him to leave
i thought i could love him one day
but i guess thats untrue
life got in the way
distance took my place
i cant understand how i can feel this way
i wonder every night
could there ever be place for me
then i understand that this is not meant to be
his touch makes me weak
his wispers make me shake
his kiss could make me melt
but there is no room for this
in our different lives
im sorry i feel this way
why does this hurt so bad


:'(
Tuesday, January 04, 2011



BABY BOY SICK. :'(
FOR THE FIRST TIME, URE
TERRIBLY SICK.

GET WELL SOON.
COS I MISS EU SOO MUCH.

LOVE EU BABY BOY.


The Writer


Siti Saleha A.K.A Sally, 19+.
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