The Shape of My Heart ;

I DONT KNOW WHO TO TURN TO.
SO I DECIDED TO LET GO ON MY BLOG.
LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW WHATS GG ON.
I DONT CARE. I JUST DONT WANNA GET ILL AGAIN.
I DONT WANNA SEE ANY PSYCHIATRIST. IM NOT SICK.
THIS DAYS ARENT MY DAY. WHY. WHY MUST IT HAPPENED
TO ME. IM SAD PPL TREATING ME THIS WAY. WHAT HAVE I
DONE TO DESERVE THIS. *SIGH
I DONT HAVE ANY TEARS. IM NOT STRONG ENUF TO FACE ALL
THIS. SERIOUSLY. :'(

YESTERDAY, JASON MSG ME AND ACCUSE ME FOR LYING TO HYM.
WHY? JUST BCOS I DEACTIVATE MY ACC LIKE ONLY 7HOURS AND
WHEN I ACTIVATE MOST OF MY FRIEND'S LIST ARENT MY FRIEND.
IS IT MY FAULT? LIKE SERIOUSLY? I DONT KNOW IF JASON BEING
SO UNREASONABLE TOWARDS ME BUT EU KNOW WHAT JASON?
" EU HURT ME DEEPLY. MY HEART BROKEN INTO PIECES. I CANT
STOP CRYING. WHY? HY JASON EU TREAT ME THIS WAY?"
YES, I DONT MIND SAYING OUT YOUR NAME AND TELL WHOEVER READ
THIS. I DONT CARE. COS IM SUPER DISAPPOINTED OF EU. IM HURT OVER
YOUR WORDS. *SIGH
I DONT KNOW IF IM ABLE TO FORGIVE EU. ( 05012011)

TODAY, MUCH MORE DISAPPOINTED. HIDAYAT WAS SERIOUSLY SICK FOR
THREE DAYS. I TOLD YDAY (05012011) IM GG TO VISIT HYM COS I WORRIED
ABOUT HYM. HE ASK PERMISSION FOR HYS PARENTS AND RECEIVED A GREEN
LIGHT FROM THEM. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING. SHOWER, COOK PORRIDGE FOR
HYM AND SOME LIGHT DISHES. COS HES NOT IN A MOOD TO EAT. AFTER COOK,
I SEND MY GRANNY TO THE TOILET AND GIVE HER LUNCH. THEN I MSG YAT,
ASK IF HES OKAY AND STILL NEED ME TO BE THERE. GUESS WHAT WAS HYS REPLY.
"ITS OKAY. EU DONT HAVE TOO. IM FEELING BETTER." *SIGH
ANOTHER DISAPPOINTMENT. SO,OUT OF ANGER I THREW AWAY THE FOOD THAT I
COOK FOR HYM. YES,I THREW IT AWAY. SO MUCH FOR MY CONCERN AND EFFORT.

LATER, I MSG ISMAN OUT OF CONCERN COS HE WASNT IN A MOOD AS HE HAD A FIGHT
WITH HYS BROTHER. I MSG HYM AND ASKED " IS HE OKAY. SORRY I DIDNT REPLY HYS
MSG COS I WENT TO BED EARLY." GUESS WHAT HE REPLY. " I HATE PPL WHO LIED TO ME"
I ASKED HYM "WHY?" HE KEPT REPEATING "I HATE PPL WHO LIED TO ME" *SIGH
WHO LIKE TO BE LIED TOO. WHAT HAVE I DONE ACTUALLY. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN
TO ME. *SIGH (06012011)
YES! IM TRULY HURT AND SAD OVER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY AND TODAY.
LITERALLY SAD. :'(